My dad is dying and in hospice care. I love him very much but I also have a part of me that is hurt that he is dying.

Growing up my dad and mom were both very bad drunks. They fought all the time and I would always end up in the middle so that my little brothers and sister didn’t wake up and didn’t have to see this.  Which made me mad and angry at both my parents.

I try and share with my dad but my stepmom doesn’t want the drama around him during his time of hospice. But their is a part inside me that wants to say.

Hey dad I love you but I am also very angry that you didn’t acknowledge that I took time out of my sleep when I was younger and tell me that hey it matters that you cared that fights you and mom had weren’t deadly or hurting.

That you knew that I was their defending our family to keep it together. But that didn’t seem to work. Because you and mom got a divorce. Yes I was older and mainly on my own. But I would have really appreciated some acknowledgement and that I matter.

I know live 6 hours away because I need to get healing and I am doing that through friends and God and hoping this will help others going through loss and grief that you may find peace at the end of your parents life. That things will go well with you and with your parent and that things are better for you.