Are you a mom that has lost a child. Whether it be from Death or something else coming in and superseding your role as a mom.

It’s happened to the best of us including me. My daughter’s always been mine but I am not talking about her. She is a selfish young woman who needs to find the true her. She has been kept safe millions of times from God’s Hand is totally on her life. If she just sees God for Him as a loving Father. Then she doesn’t need to go searching.

But this isn’t about her at all. This is about my son, I won’t mention his name on this blog. Because his adopted parents and he are on my Facebook page. His adoptive parents have done a wonderful job with raising him. I don’t discredit that at all. I love these people and I am glad that God brought them into my life when it was needed.

There are some people that don’t give you a chance at all to show how much you love your children. I knew from the beginning that my son was special. The Lord showed me in dreams about the goodness and the kindness that he would have. He showed me that my son is going to do great thing and he has in many ways. Having disabilities in the beginning and through today. He’s accomplished many things. He’s a golfer and a runner. This year, he got his first job. Which is exciting for him. He’s won Gold and Silver and Bronze Medals through Special Olympics which he was able to do with school and his Adoptive Parents.

I still feel hurt and lied to by the system (DCFS) which tells you one thing and then goes and tells the adopted parents another. It’s not fair. I wish people would speak the truth. I was told that He was never in the system and if I wanted him back that I would be able to get him whenever I wanted to. But, the Adopted parents were told if he were to come home that he would be put in Foster care. Wow a blow to me and everyone was on the adopted parents side which hurt me even more. Yes there is some rejection and bitterness but I am working through it and a whole lot of prayer is helping me along.

But it hurts to this day, if people would have been honest with me back then and told me to my face instead of my back maybe I would feel different but I put it in the back of my mind and tell myself that I will make it and things will be Ok. But it is a struggle.