Don’t you ever wish things could be different or your life could be not what your life was but something else and you create a fantasy world away from pain and the hurt and go on.

It can happen but then you realize all the amazement and love you have for that person and you learn that life doesn’t revolve around them and what they want. But you look for something new and something different and can’t find it and a piece of you is missing and you go searching for it. Sometimes you find and sometimes you don’t.

Then you get devastating news from your own child who doesn’t want to be a part of your life on your birthday. Which hurts tremendously but you have nothing to do about it but go on.. But that’s what I mean about pick and choose.

When you come from a dysfunctional family like mine is it’s a reality that your own child doesn’t want a relationship with you for herself or her child. Even though things are rough you still pull through and do things and help her in secret or behind the scenes and pray for them all daily and not give up the fight for that relationship. 

The most precious thing is relationship and the picking and choosing doesn’t create the fantasy and reality and the counseling helps.