I really wanted to go the reunion this year. Someone even offered to give me $100 for my hotel room. I would have to come up with the rest. Which I was ok with. But being on a limited budget its hard to plan things.

Yes I do several things that I am dabble in and thought I had it there a couple times. But then realized something else needed it more. Or this bill was coming due and had to pay that.. So it didn’t work. So I would add then cancel the room. It wasn’t meant to be. Because if it was things would be there but then they weren’t.

I would be by myself with nobody to talk to they all still have their clicks and talking about there families and such and I would talk about my hubby and his problems and how I am a full-time caregiver and how I have to be there for everything and help with everything. It doesn’t make things easy. I would have to tell them about how my daughter cut me off my granddaughter life. Because her boyfriend/coparent spoils her and buys her everything.

I feel alone with no one to talk to and no one who knows all the stuff I have to go through and all the hurt and pain I have had the last 45 yrs. I really wanted to go and see people who I hadn’t seen in year. But then I remember the Mark Wills song. Don’t laugh at Me and it brings me to tears.

I am still healing and been in therapy for 4 yrs now. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but there’s a lot more healing to do. So I sit this one out and don’t know when I will see you all again. If you would pick up the phone or send me a message. I would talk to you and let you know what’s going.

But not one person for my class has asked how I was the last 45 yrs and nothing will change that. So I don’t plan on getting my hopes up and building connections because there are no connections that I want to build anymore.

So as another reunion passes. I will be at home taking care of my hubby and praying for each and everyone of you.