To write my thoughts and to write when I am unsure of things. Right now I don’t know what to do and what’s the next step. I see more and more  hour trips ahead for Dan and I to stay with my mom while she is at home. We just learned she has dementia.

I knew something was different yesterday. I am sort of the black sheep of our family. You wouldn’t understand unless you were in my shoes. I married 4 times and had 2 kids, Amber who’s 32 and who is a child of Rape and Stephen age 22 who was my 3rd husband’s son but was given up for adoption by a wonderful couple and still good friends. So, my mom didn’t like the Idea that Stephen was given to the couple that adopted him. But, Personally I knew it was the right thing to do.

So yesterday, I ran in the house to go pee.. After all I had been driving 2 hours and needed a break. and after I go pee. My mom says don’t you say Hello. So I go over and hug her and tell her that I love her and ask how she is.

We come back and we all sit outside and start talking.. I said did you see a picture of Stephen? Which I thank God that his adopted parents take and I am so very appreciative of that.  She blurts out. He needs to know that  I am his Grandma. Dan reassures her that he knows all of that.

But as the days and weeks go by, I pray that I am able to share with her all the love I have for her and that I am able to share the love of Jesus with her and bring her into his arms.